Worry today is almost an epidemic - about 60% of patients consulting
their family doctor have anxiety as the cause of their distress. We
certainly have a lot to worry about, but perhaps we worry too much.
Research shows that 40% of worry is about events that will never happen,
30% is about events that have already happened, 22% is about trivial
things, 4% is about events we can't change, and only 4% is about real
events we can act on! This means that 96% of worry is totally wasted
on things we can't change or control. Isn't it time we learned to worry
properly and not just spin our mental wheels, making ourselves miserable?
But how do you 'Worry RIGHT '? The answer is: You Worry-WRITE! This
means that if you are going to worry, you set aside specific times to
do it, sit at a desk and write your worries down, organize them and
then find solutions. If you're a real worry-wart, force yourself to
worry regularly, perhaps twice a day for half an hour. You'll probably
find your mind rebelling - you simply can't keep worrying that long.
Want to stop lying in bed at night worrying? First, relax physically,
using regular, smooth breathing, and progressively let your muscles
relax . Then picture a relaxing or interesting scene . If your mind
fills with worries - see them as clouds drifting by and out of sight,
and focus on the relaxing scene again. Or imagine yourself successfully
finding solutions. Still not sleeping? Get out of bed and sit at your
worry desk - ready to work at clearly identifying your worries and making
plans for action.
Write down a list of all your worries, then rate each worry
as major or minor - or just a hassle. Once you have your master worry
list, organize major worries into two groups: Those you can do something
about, and those you can't do anything about.
Try to be specific. Instead of thinking :"I'm stressed out!" say "I'm
angry about ....," "There is conflict in the family caused
by................" This will greatly help in finding a workable
solution. Ask yourself: "What are the real odds of this thing actually
happening?" Are you making a problem bigger because of the way
you think about it? Ask: "Will I still be bothered by this in 3
weeks - or 5 years?" In five years most worries you have today
have disappeared.
You'll feel more in control if you analyze your worries. You can more
easily develop a positive attitude, work out solutions and make good
decisions. Of course, some problems have no specific solutions, but
once you decide to take charge of worry, you'll be able to select your
mental attitude and a course of action - including choosing not to worry!
