by David Rainham
M.D., C.C.F.P
High school years should be a great experience, but many demands and
rapid changes can make them one of the most stressful times of life.
Students today face increasing amounts of schoolwork, a rapidly changing
curriculum, assignment deadlines and exams; they worry about selecting
careers and post secondary programs, and they must balance schoolwork
with sports, hobbies and social life. They have conflicts with parents,
friends, siblings; have to cope with unpredictable moods, concerns about
appearance, fitting in with a peer group - and also handle love relationships
and sexuality. Money is always a worry, as is dealing with issues of
alcohol and drugs - and now there's a new fear of violence in and around
schools. As if that wasn't enough, they have to deal with all this while
undergoing rapid physical and emotional changes - and without the benefit
of life experience.
But on the positive side, these challenges are perfect for developing
what many experts believe is more important than IQ in predicting future
success in work, personal and financial life: the 'Emotional Quotient'
or 'EQ' . The EQ includes: awareness of one's emotions, strengths and
limits, developing self esteem, taking responsibility, having empathy
for others, self-control, and setting high standards while being persistent
in the face of obstacles. Here are some other skills that will help
students thrive at high school - and beyond:
- Learn
to balance the demands on your time. Plan well in advance (leaving
time to just veg out!), get organized - and fight procrastination. With
a vivid picture of your goals in mind, stay ahead of schoolwork from
day one - do it first, limit TV, and refuse to waste 20 hours a week
working to buy stuff you don't really need.
- Practice
effective worrying: list stresses and look for solutions -
or change your attitude. Understand stress symptoms: tiredness, poor
concentration, headaches, stomach trouble and insomnia. To control symptoms,
learn relaxation and mental imagery techniques, then adapt them to improve
memory, sleep - and performance in presentations and exams. Hard exercise
relaxes and makes you feel stronger and more confident, but too much
caffeine, alcohol and other drugs will do the opposite.
- Anxiety
levels depend largely on our thoughts about a situation,
so be accurate - how bad is it on a scale of 1-10? Is it terrible - or
just inconvenient? Learn from mistakes or bad situations and realize
they won't last forever. Don't forget to use laughter to reduce tension
and put things in perspective. Volunteer work doesn't just look good
on a resume - it reduces stress and makes you feel better about yourself.
- Communication
skills - assertiveness, listening, resolving conflicts
and dealing with difficult people - help you make friends and deal effectively
with teachers (and parents!) Find support from friends, family and teachers
- how have others you respect handled similar situations? Many schools
now provide information and courses on stress.
Prolonged stress can lead to depression and even thoughts of suicide,
so if you feel totally overloaded, or life seems hopeless, seriously
consider professional counseling, it's not a sign of weakness.
Parents often feel stressed and frustrated too, but they must realize
that the brains of teens are physically different from adults, they
don't see things in the same way, and they react differently. Parents
can help enormously by setting a good example, being patient, spending
time with teens and really listening to them , accepting and loving
them unconditionally, setting limits according to maturity - but allowing
them to learn from mistakes. They can help teens recognize their emotions,
develop coping strategies, and build on their talents so that they leave
high school ready to take on the new challenges of adult life.
Dr. Rainham is the author of the book 'Stressed Out' - Taking Control
of Student Stress', an interactive Teacher's Guide, and other student
stress and coping materials. For more information, call 1-800-771-5776
|
